Motherguild

A vacation? When you work at home?

2009-06-21T22:50:00.003-05:00

I hate to admit that I didn't prepare blog posts for when I'm on vacation. I apologize. I had a lot of paying work in the days before my vacation, and I couldn't get to this blog to put up autoposts. I'll be back blogging Monday, June 29.

me! Me me me me!

2009-06-19T14:10:00.002-05:00

Wow. I always want to have a post up by 9 a.m. Or, barring that, you know, uh, noon. I totally blew it today. However, this is the first time after a month of work-at-home blogging, so let's give me a break here. Sorry!

I wish I could say I was taking some time for myself -- a long walk WITHOUT dogs, kids, or spouse; a well-deserved massage; extra yoga time (uh, who am I kidding? ANY yoga time).

But this was a very, very busy week. My brother-in-law came to visit for a few days and I was torn between writing and hanging out. We're getting ready for a big trip and there's a bunch of cleaning and planning and running around to do. Time for myself hasn't really been at the top of my list, and I'm feeling it.

It's a lot like exercise, whether you work at home or not -- you sometimes have to just go ahead and schedule it in to make it a priority, you feel crappy when you don't do it, it feels like a luxury, you should do it EVERY DAY. And that's the best I can come up with today. I'll be getting some me time this weekend, and when I get back to work, I'll be recharged. Recharged enough to get my blog posts up on time.

WAHM helpers

2009-06-18T10:32:00.003-05:00

How much do you rely on your partner for help when you're working at home? As I mentioned, John is at home for some time on furlough. He has worked on a lot of projects around the house and tackling some of those "someday" things that you always say you'll do "when you have time." I have to say I've been grateful for all the projects he has gotten done around here -- chopping wood, fixing up a playhouse for the kids, car maintenance we've been putting off, and so on.

The best thing, though, is that so far I've found he's really respected my space while I'm working at home. I've had to delay chores and drop dishes in the middle of washing them to take phone calls or clarify an article, and John has been very, very supportive of all of it. I've written about how it's easy to dismiss work at home, but I think when people really see how hard we work at home, they can grow to respect it and value it as much as work in an office or factory.

My work is such that it would be inappropriate to have John help me with it. He can't interview people for me, or edit things for me. But when he sees how much I love to do all that, he's happy to help me make it possible. Does your spouse or partner help out with your work at home? I imagine that with direct marketing or sales it might be different -- who do you have helping you?

work-at-home schedule

2009-06-17T09:45:00.003-05:00

I've talked about how important a schedule is for working at home. Do you have one? Have you written it down? To be honest, I haven't. I find it much more useful to plan out my week on Sunday, or even plan out the next day the night before. All of my days are so different, it doesn't make a lot of sense to nail myself down to the same schedule every day.

Here's a quick look at this week:

Monday -- Calling around to sources for reporting on two separate 800- to 1,000-word stories in a.m. After lunch, editing until supper time, then more editing after the kids went to bed in order to clear out the next couple of days.

Tuesday -- A five-hour round trip to a bunch of small towns to continue reporting on the two unrelated stories, from 9:30 a.m. to 2:30 p.m. From 3-5, hang out with my brother-in-law, who is visiting. From 6-9, a dinner meeting on an alternative journalism start-up project.

Wednesday -- Writing, writing, writing those two stories! (And this blog.) I'll turn them in along with some photos I took for the stories. The quicker I'm done with them, the quicker I can hang out with John and his bro. I'll have a half-hour's worth of editing to do some time, probably after everyone goes to bed.

Thursday -- Wrap up any questions my editor might have. Work on a small story she suggested -- call around on it and hopefully turn it in the same day. There may be a couple hours' worth of editing.

Friday -- Think up more pitches for my editor, chase down some payments I haven't received, finish any editing for the week.

That about sums it up. Of course, I didn't include all the skinned knees, meals, Twitter tweets, Facebook checks, WAHM forum interaction, dog walks, grocery shopping, half-hour-reading-session-in-the-sun, and the occasional nap that help round out the week. What does your schedule look like?

Garden work

2009-06-16T07:17:00.003-05:00

I feel like I've really been focusing on everything BUT the "work" part of work-at-home. Much of that is because my work is very, very flexible. I write and I edit, and much of it can be done in 45-minute spurts throughout the day, adding up to an average of five hours or so. And I know I'm lucky to have it.

I was thinking about this because it was on my schedule today to write about kids and the garden. Last year at this time, I was trying to put a garden together using three-hour chunks of time on the weekend. However, it would get so weedy during the week that by the time Saturday came, it would look so discouraging it would hardly be fun. And while I was gardening, trying to get a break from my nightmare job (someday I'll blog about it), all I could think of was how the weekend was flying by and how awful Monday was going to be.

This past weekend, both Mara and Ian came to help me in the garden. I educated them on what plants to pull and which ones to leave. Ian got to wield impressively dangerous-looking clippers and go after the grass edging the garden. Mara was in charge of the dandelion-digger and spent much more time than I would have surgically removing weeds. Work stopped whenever a worm appeared, or an interesting bug, or a pretty rock (uh, yeah, I have a ton of rocks in my garden).

It's good for kids to get dirty and be comfortable among growing things. If you don't have a garden, try container gardening. If you're low-maintenance, plant pumpkins, sunflower seeds, peas and radishes. It's certainly not too late to plant now (up here, I haven't even put in my annuals yet).

I push flexibility in working at home a lot on this blog and sometimes I feel like I give the impression that I don't work a lot. That's not the case at all -- my old job was tearing me up so badly that I am full of gratitude to be able to spend time at home with my family, and I want to remind people that you don't have to be your own abusive taskmasker just because you work at home.

Summer cooking

2009-06-15T06:44:00.003-05:00

While I do live in the frozen north, it does get hot up here (and humid, and sometimes both). Because it happens so seldom, few people have air conditioning in their houses. Because it does happen, and few people have AC, it's a pain when it does. I can't stand hot weather. I can hardly get out of bed, I feel slothful, and I hate cooking when it's hot. Actually, forget cooking -- all of my production goes down. When you work at home, you can take that 15 minutes to sit in front of a fan to cool off, but even then, I'm not jumping up to get things done. And as far as supper is concerned, my inclination is to give everyone a tub of yogurt or something equally cooling and then go lie down. Or, of course, go to an air-conditioned restaurant.

Enter the crock-pot. The wha-wha? Seriously? Hallowed tool of fall and winter, guardian of soups, stews and roasts? I finally got wise this year and started looking up summer recipes to be made in the crock-pot, and I'm pretty excited about it. Everything you love about crock-pot cooking in the winter (one-pot meal, easy cleanup or storage of leftovers, makes the house smell fantastic, total nom no matter what you're making) applies to summer, with the added bonus of cooking without turning the kitchen into your own personal sauna.

This is my new favorite recipe. The family loves it and it's so easy it's almost embarrassing. I pick up some potato salad from the deli, add a tossed salad, and you're set. Working at home, I love crock-pot cooking. You can take 20 minutes in the morning to prepare whatever-it-is, and then forget about it the rest of the day. Provided, of course, that you remember to turn the crock-pot on. That isn't always a given with me. Recipe from Diana's Kitchen.

Crockpot Country Style Ribs

2 to 3 lb. country style pork ribs, boneless
1 tablespoon vegetable oil
1 large onion, quartered and sliced 1/4-inch thick
Sauce:
1/3 cup low sodium soy sauce
1/2 cup tomato ketchup
1 tbsp. prepared mustard
3 tbsp. brown sugar
2 cloves garlic, minced
Dash black pepper
2 tbsp. apple cider vinegar
1 teaspoon celery seed

Trim excess fat from ribs. In a large skillet, brown ribs in oil. Cover the country style ribs with sliced onion. In a bowl combine all sauce ingredients; pour evenly over ribs and onions. Cover and cook on LOW setting for 8 to 10 hours, or on HIGH for 4 to 5 hours.
Country style ribs recipe serves 4 to 6.

Grateful

2009-06-12T10:40:00.002-05:00

I had a totally different blog post scheduled for today. I was going to come back and write something about taking care of yourself when you work at home, blah-blah, working at home but remembering to live at home, balance, time for yourself, whatevs.

But during my morning walk, that faded away. I'm not a dog person, but we have dogs. I'm not crazy about them. They are not my fur-babies. I like them, I take care of them, I'm happy when they're happy. I don't like them when they wake me up early to go for a walk. And how did it get to be that I, the non-dog-person, is the one walking them every morning? They are a multiple-layered mystery, and that is one of them.

In any case, I was walking early this morning. We've had a long stretch of chilly rainy weather that has precluded a lot of garden work and has kept the kids inside. It feels a lot more like October than June. But then, today, the sun came out and everything was washed and fresh and bright. It's warm and almost humid. Forest wildflowers are blooming and the undergrowth is lush and rich. The creek is running from all the rain and the world is alive.

I mentioned that a year ago, I took a week off to be able to be at home for Ian's play practice. By this time, at the end of the week, I was despairing that the time was almost over, and I morbidly counted down in my head how many hours I had left, and I mourned that I hadn't spent the time as I had wanted to -- looking for a work-at-home job, playing more with the kids, being more patient. I was focused on the bad stuff that was coming at work, and paying more attention to stuff I hated than stuff I loved.

This year, as I was walking in the woods, I felt my heart open and I was so grateful to be where I was. I was grateful to John, for taking a job that made my flexibility possible. I was grateful to myself for working hard and asking the universe for opportunities I knew I could succeed at. I was grateful to the universe for listening. I'm not religious, but I felt like a big thank-you note to the cosmos for where I was. I know I am privileged to be able to say that. What are you grateful for, and are you grateful for what your opportunities?

Your business, your partner

2009-06-11T08:28:00.004-05:00

When you work at home, it's so important to keep to a schedule for so many reasons. For me, sticking to a schedule makes my work feel legitimate and makes me take it seriously. As a freelance writer and editor, the flexibility I love can also bring me down (I'm a HUGE procrastinator). Having a schedule also reminds me to FINISH working at the end of the day. It's really easy to "be done" with work when the kids come home, and then turn the computer back on while making supper, and then "just check my e-mail" while the kids are playing outside...and then...

...then suddenly it's bedtime and I haven't really paid any attention to my partner. My home partner, not my business-which-seems-like-my-partner-during-the-day. I sometimes find myself putting off time with my husband just to check one more thing on my work, to tweak a story I'm writing or to "work ahead" on some editing jobs. "Wanna take a walk?" he says. "Uhh...let me just finish this one paragraph," I'l mutter, and he'll go back to reading, or walk by himself.

But really, what's more important than the relationship that, for me, started it all? I wanted to work at home so I could be a happier person at home. My office job was making me sick and snarly -- and I'm a laid-back person -- and part of the decision to work at home revolved around my pledge to be a better person. A better partner, lover, mother and (wait, did I say this?) homemaker. I would be doing work I loved on my terms, and that would make me happy.

It has made me happy. Very happy. And because of John's work, I am able to be flexible and work how I want to. I need to remember to uphold my part of the bargain, and foster the relationship that makes working at home possible -- not only because I couldn't do it without him, but because really, he's my partner for life and I love him.

Don't let the flexibility you have as a work-at-home mom flex itself out of control. Keep your working hours separate (unless there's a REAL emergency), and be the person you want to be at home. How do you balance partner time with your work at home?

Working at Home sometimes means laundry

2009-06-10T10:25:00.001-05:00

When I was still in the office, one of the things I dreamed about and promised myself I would do when I was working at home was to really do laundry properly and enjoy it. There would be no running around, putting together a stopgap load of underwear, socks and a shirt for everyone that day. My mother-in-law has a beautiful laundry room full of art on the walls and plenty of room for folding and sorting, and when I see it, I think, now that’s the way to do laundry.

One thing I have done more, now that I have the time to do it, is put more laundry on the line. I know some areas have ordinances against this, and it blows me away. How does laundry on a line look trashy? I don’t understand it. It saves energy and makes clothes smell great. You do have to watch it during pollen season, though — if you have bad allergies, don’t put your sheets out when the trees are having their sexual explosion.

When you’re working at home all day, it’s easy to throw in a load of sheets in the morning and put them on the line as soon as they’re done. You’re around all day while they’re drying and can take a nice break to fold them up and put them away. If you don’t have a line, you can find a rack dryer at the hardware store and put it on your porch or balcony. If you worry about stiff sheets or towels, throw a half-cup of vinegar in with the rinse cycle.

I do have to say that with all this big talk about laundry, John is the one who does most of it. He claims he doesn’t like the way I do laundry — I do fold shirts differently, and he does a lot more separation of clothes than I do, which I think wastes water, and I wash more things in cold. On the other hand, he waits too long to do laundry, I think. And then, instead of washing the most urgent things first, he’ll do towels and placemats. What the? How’s that for a rant?

Work-at-home drama

2009-06-09T08:42:00.001-05:00

This week, Ian is involved in one of those quick-strike drama programs. An outfit rolls into town on Sunday night, holds auditions for 60 kids on Monday morning, and on Friday and Saturday, puts on an hour-long play. These things are so impressive. The young people who work with the kids are dedicated, energetic, full of joy, and know how to get the kids excited about the project.

Ian is a bit of a ham, and I think getting involved in a drama program is good for a lot of kids. A play is a safe place for a shy kid to be someone he’s not. An outgoing kid can channel that extrovert energy and do something productive.

This always kicks off our summer. Last year, when I was still working in an office, I took the week off so I could get Ian to all the rehearsals. They have rehearsals every day (except for the very youngest kids), and sometimes all day, depending on the part. This year, because I’m working at home, it’s not a big deal to swing by and drop him off or pick him up. I am thankful as I do it. Last year I found it hard to enjoy even my time off, because knowing it would end and I would have to go back to my sick office was so depressing. Now, I am full of gratitude — to myself, for having the courage to walk away from a full-time job in a bad economy; to my husband, for taking the risk with me; and my kids, for making it all worth it. I will have to juggle interviews and do some work at night to fit in the play rehearsals and performances. But as I watch Ian on stage at the end of this week, I will know I’m doing what I should be doing.

Do traveling plays come through your town? What are your kids doing this summer?

Work at home, grill at home

2009-06-08T10:12:00.001-05:00

Do you grill at all? It makes so much sense I should do it more. It’s easy, there’s little cleanup, and when you don’t load down food with cooking oils and stuff, it can be a lot healthier. When you work at home, that’s like the trifecta. Summer is great for roasting vegetables, too — take an onion, a tomato, and a pepper from your garden (if, you know, you’re lucky), add some chunks of meat, and you’ve got kebabs. You don’t even need a jerk sauce or anything — just a little salt and olive oil and you’re set.

I made the most amazing discovery last year: Grilled corn-on-the-cob. Sweet mother of vegetables, I had no idea it could be so good. My family called corn-on-the-cob “roasting ears” so I don’t know why it never occurred to me to actually roast them (back in the early days, people would put immature corn in coals to cook, and that’s where the name came from).

Grilling roasting ears makes so much sense in the summer instead of boiling them — who wants a hot steamy pot of boiling water in the kitchen when it’s 85 degrees? You can use a charcoal or gas grill for your roasting ears — a gas grill will cook them faster, so keep an eye on them.

Take your roasting ears and carefully peel down the outer husks. Take out as much of the silk and inner husks you can. Use the inner husks to tie the outer husks closed. Soak the roasting ears in water for 10 or 15 minutes. Put on the grill for 10-20 minutes. The outer husks will char, but that’s OK. Butter liberally and enjoy.

Here is a Web site with pictures for instructions. If you are camping, just bring foil and wrap the ears and put them in the coals to cook. But don’t wait to camp to try it. Working at home gives you the flexibility to try new things when you’re cooking — take advantage of it!

Do as I say, not as I do

2009-06-05T08:23:00.002-05:00

You know what I hate? I hate getting out of bed. Even if I have an exciting day planned — the first day of vacation, breakfast out, a light work load — I would rather doze away the morning and get up when I feel like it. I am LAZY and I admit it. But one of the best things you can do for yourself is get up in the morning and take a walk. Seriously, just typing that makes me think of cool, soft pillows and warm, but not too warm, sheets.

If you do a lot of computer work when you work at home, it's easy to get lost in what you're doing and only get up to go to the bathroom or get a cup of coffee. There isn't any co-worker to chit-chat with, or someone else's desk to walk over to to check on a project or share a bit of gossip with. But remember, now that you're working at home, you have the flexibility to get that breath of air whenever you want.

Even as I’m walking, I’m thinking about the work I have to do or the exciting things coming for the day. But after awhile I feel the way my body is working, I smell the air (even if I’m walking downtown), and the articulation of my spine and limbs makes me focus on what I’m doing. It makes me focus on how I’m alive. And, to be honest, it makes me feel just a little bit superior to people who aren’t doing anything.

And that’s a good way to start the day. I don’t always take my own advice (who does?), but if you haven’t gotten up out of bed and taken a walk, try it. Even just going up and down the stairs three times in your apartment building will make your thighs twitch a little bit when you’re done. Then you can start the day feeling like you’ve done something. When you work a home, you need to take it where you can get it — whether “it” is exercise, time on your own, paid work or leisure time. Your walk doesn’t have to be with just the right shoes in a park or a wooded trail. Walk around the block. Walk up and down your stairs. Walk up and down your driveway — no, seriously, who cares? You’re doing something, you’re moving your blood, and the rest of day, you’ll get a payoff from it. Who knows — you might even get up and do it tomorrow, too.

A Partner Who's Always Around

2009-06-04T09:49:00.002-05:00

Well, my husband has been home for two weeks. Tomorrow is the first day all four of us will be home at the same time. How on earth are we going to keep from tripping all over each other?

As a work-at-home mom, I’ve found that being busy makes a great example for everyone. If I’ve got work to do and I head for the home office right after breakfast, that’s a nonverbal cue to John that he’s on his own for ways to fill his morning. I usually give him an update about what I’m up to — not because he’s my boss or I have to clear anything with him, but because that shows that I take what I’m doing seriously and I expect him to, too. If I tell him I have an interview and two hours worth of editing, but that if I get it all done I’ll be able to take a long lunch and watch a half-hour of baseball with him, then he knows he’s expected to be productive until then.

A lot of this depends on the kind of relationship you have with your partner. It’s hard to get people to take working at home seriously, sometimes. If you have a partner who’s got project and hobbies and other interests, then a long term of unemployment for them is not going to be too much of a bother. John has three large projects to work on while he’s furloughed, and when I’m working at home, there’s no reason he can’t work at home, either.

Several years ago, when I had no idea how to work at home and he was unemployed for a month, we were both miserable. It felt like we were always underfoot with each other, and we grizzled and argued a lot. But because we both now have purpose and things to do, we are happy to see each other at lunch and tell each other about our day. By taking your own work at home seriously, you can inspire others — and make them respect the time you need to get your work done.

When to Work?

2009-06-03T10:12:00.002-05:00

When you decided to work at home, flexibility probably had a lot to do with it. I know that was my main reason. With John on call 24/7 for the work he does, it made a lot of sense for us to have someone available at all times to run the house and be with the kids. I couldn't rely on other people all the time to get my kids to and from activities, to be available when I wasn't so much of the time, and to run backup if I was running late. It was a huge draw for me and my family.

With tomorrow being the last day of school here, I'm looking at my first summer as a work-at-home mom and going back and forth between reveling in long summer days, and panicking as I wonder when I'm going to get my work done. I'm lucky in that my kids are old enough to fend for themselves if I have to interview someone over the phone, or to entertain themselves at the library or at a friend's house if I need to interview someone in person. If your kids need more supervision, how do you manage it?

When my kids were young enough to nap, I followed my mother's advice and slept when the kids slept. As a work-at-home mom, however, you might have to make your phone calls and scheduling while the kids are down -- or have them spend a little electronic babysitter time. During breakfast and lunch, before the kids get up and after the kids get to bed are also prime working hours.

It's easy to feel a little resentful during the summer as the kids are around all the time while you're supposed to be working. It helps to rejig your schedule to accommodate their time at home -- and then you need to have the discipline to stick with it. When you're with your kids, be with your kids, not composing e-mails or rehearsing sales pitches in your head. When you're working, work -- don't wish you could be back in bed or watching your favorite TV show. Before you were working at home, this is the kind of flexibility you wanted. It's not easy, but the payoff is grand. Would you really rather be back in that office just so you don't have to stay up late to finish your work at home?

Kids: Schedule, But Don't Overschedule

2009-06-02T08:52:00.002-05:00

You are lucky indeed if your kids are able to take care of themselves enough to give you ample time to work on your business, whether you’re on a sales call, interviewing someone for an article, or tackling a difficult editing job. A half-hour stretch of alone time, and then a couple minutes with you checking in, should be enough for both of you to have your own space and time.

This is also the time of year to sign up for summer reading programs. My kids are voracious bookworms, but a good summer reading program can encourage even the most reluctant reader. Stickers and charts showing a child’s progress, and weekly prizes or other incentives, help kids get excited about reading. Try your local library, or even an online program. Sprawling out on the grass, or making a cozy nook on an apartment balcony, or setting up the bed as a reading boat and then losing themselves in books will be remembered for years.

Where we are, there are so many great summer programs that it’s tempting to sign up the kids for everything – especially because the more they’re gone, the more time you have to work. But is it worth it? One of the reasons I wanted to work at home was so I could be a better mom. Shoving the kids off to a bunch of activities doesn’t make summer special – it makes it just as busy as the school year, only busy in a different way.

Let them climb a tree, make a fort with sheets on the clothesline, make popsicles, set up a lemonade stand, make ice cream (you don't need an ice-cream maker!), catch butterflies and lightning bugs, paint, play four square, and feel the easing of the mind and body that comes in the summer.

Get Your Kids To Cook

2009-06-01T08:43:00.003-05:00

When I was growing up, every summer, my parents required that my sister and I make one meal a week. We agreed on what day of the week that would be, planned the menu, made all the food and cleaned up afterwards. (Our chores usually included setting the table and loading the dishwasher, but cleaning up from this meal included scrubbing pots and pans, and so on.)

It was a good way to learn a bunch of different things at once – nutrition and balanced eating, budgeting, planning for leftovers, and so on. We often put a lot more thought into the dessert than the rest of the meal, and once ended up with corn fritters and penuche. It also gave us the opportunity to try, for fun, foods we had read about in books, such as toad in the hole from the Adrian Mole Diaries, and toad in the hole became a family favorite.

Summer is a good time to have kids cook a meal because with a simple sandwich plate or salad, they’re not messing around with the oven or stove if you don’t want them to, and with the abundance of fresh produce, getting fruits and vegetables into the meal can be fun. It gives you a little extra time for your work, too. Be clear with your expectations about the meal – who does prep and cleanup, who sets the table, who sets the budget and does the actually shopping – but let them take the lead. And whatever they chose, you do have to eat it!

Here’s a healthy, kid-friendly recipe they can try to get them started:

• 1 bag salad

• sliced roast beef from the deli

• some kind of cheese to grate – for picky palates, co-jack, sharp cheddar or swiss; for more adventurous, try havarti, blue or Roquefort

• red onion

• croutons

• oil and vinegar or caeser dressing

Cut the beef into bite-sized pieces and slice the onion. Throw it all together and serve with bread (crusty or otherwise), and drinks and desserts of choice. Older kids can buy a piece of flank steak for the meat. Set the oven to 400 degrees. Season flank steak with salt and pepper. Put a splash of canola oil in a hot pan and brown the steak on both sides, about two to three minutes a side. Put it in the hot oven to roast about 10-15 minutes (for a medium finish). Remove, let rest and cool slightly, then cut across the grain and toss with the salad.

Summer me time

2009-05-29T08:17:00.000-05:00

With kids (and sometimes your partner) around all the time, it’s imperative that you get time for yourself. You are going to need all your energy in the coming months, and so you’re going to have to be very firm about what time is your time.

You might have to change your personal schedule around to make sure you get the time you need. I am not a huge fan of getting up early, because I love bed. I might even set that alarm, but when zero hour comes, I often roll over and snooze it. Once in awhile, though, I manage to get up and take a walk in the morning. While I love being awake before everybody else (once I actually do it), I find myself thinking about everything I have to that day, and it’s not always very relaxing. Your mileage may vary, of course!

Other options include:

• A Sunday night bath after the kids are sent to bed early
• A lunch out by yourself once a week (if you can find child care), with a book, journal, or just your thoughts for company.
• An hour with your favorite TV show while the kids are having quiet time

• Time at the library during a story hour for kids
• A turn on the treadmill while the kids are eating
• Slow yoga before you go to bed

It’s hard to find something that works every time or every week. Pay attention to yourself and see if you feel like you’re not energized – if so, it’s time to rope up some help and give yourself an hour or two with yourself.

Prepare for long layoff

2009-05-28T08:15:00.000-05:00

Not only am I preparing for my kids to be home all the time, I’m getting ready for John to be home a lot, too. The slowdown has hit the railroad, and it we’re looking at a month, maybe two, of down time. He said he might work a day or two a week, but even so, that’s a lot of family time. A LOT.

I am a private, solitary person. I lived on my own for quite some time after college and relish my own time, my own place, my own silence. I have to say I’m wondering about how all these people being around will affect me and my work. Having a schedule will be even more important with an adult and kids around.

John has projects he wants to work on, which is good, and the kids are old enough to help him, so I will be able to have the computer time I need. We splurged recently and bought a laptop, so both of us can be online at the same time if we have to be, or the kids can play on one while I’m working.

Still, sometimes partners can take working at home less seriously than a job in an office. Just because I’m working in shorts and a sweatshirt at a messy desk with iTunes running doesn’t mean the work I’m doing isn’t important, time-sensitive or necessarily flexible. I could put on a suit and sit up straight while working, but I’m not sure if that would do any good. Maybe having him around all the time will show him how I work. You’d think the paycheck would prove it, wouldn’t you?

Schedule Change Coming Up!

2009-05-27T08:35:00.003-05:00

No matter how long you’ve been working at home – a week or a year or longer – the switch from spring to summer is a big one. If your kids are in school, in the next couple of weeks they will suddenly be out of school and underfoot. Your routine (you do have a routine, right?) will be thrown out of whack. If you still have a week of grace, now is the time to start laying the groundwork for a transition to summer.

Make your expectations clear. Let your family know what hours are untouchable working hours. Make sure your kids know what the rules are when you’re working – you’re only to be bothered in case of blood or fire (or some other easy-to-remember rule). Your rules and expectations have to be age-appropriate, of course. In any case, everyone needs to be clear and understand things in the same way.
If you don’t have a schedule yet, make one. At 10 a.m., you need to be working and pretty much on your own until noon. Then a break for lunch. Then working from 1-2, and then the wrap-up of work after the kids are in bed. Or whatever works for you. A schedule is something you can point to when the kids have something they think you need to take care of, and you can show them that you’re unavailable.
At the same time, see where you can be a little more flexible. After all, it is summer. Can you put off projects during the first week, to take some time to reconnect with your kids and get into the rhythm of the season?

Summer is a good chance for your kids to learn to be a little more independent, and for the work-at-home mom to lighten up a little bit and take advantage of the at-home part of work-at-home. Switching to summer work is a challenge; how do you manage it?

Taming the Activities Monster

2009-05-26T08:35:00.001-05:00

When is your kids’ last day of school? Here in Minnesota, we go on for about a week after Memorial Day, and if we’ve had a rough winter, extra days are tacked on to the end. We probably should have some makeup days this year, but the district (like many) is in financial trouble, so they’re bypassing makeup days.

Ian will be doing summer hockey, baseball, a summer play, soccer, and swimming lessons. Mara has soccer and swimming lessons, and maybe the summer play, if she feels like it.

Writing that down, it looks like a lot. Throw in a vacation, trips to grandparents’ houses, and any summer academic work I might want to give them, and I ask myself if it’s too much.

If I were still office-bound, I’d say yes, it is. Last summer, when I was still working at the office, a half-hour commute meant I had only the tiniest margins of error any time I wanted to cart my kids around to activities. But now that I’m working at home, I have a much better feel for how much we can schedule. And I don’t think this is too much.

The reason we have fond memories of summer vacation is the sense of long stretches of time with nothing to do. Can you even imagine, anymore, what nothing to do feels like? It’s magical. Kids have to have time to lie around and daydream, to put themselves into that almost hypnotic state that prepares the brain for a spark of creativity and excitement. If I were rushing back from the office to pick the kids up from summer day care to fling them into a sport and then fly home to throw something crappy together for supper, I would think they were overscheduled because I would be overscheduled. But because my time can be balanced between everything that needs to be done, I can make sure they are prepared and focused for the summer activities.

Of course, the best barometer for whether kids are overscheduled is how they feel. If a child is reluctant to put on the uniform to get ready for a game, or balks when it’s time to go to swimming lessons, you know something is up. What are your kids doing this summer?

Memorial Day: Picnics!

2009-05-25T08:30:00.000-05:00

When I was growing up, my parents would buy four carnations at a grocery store on Memorial Day, and then we would find some old cemetery, and put the carnations on graves that were clearly forgotten – headstones overgrown, tilting, sometimes unreadable. It was a quiet, contemplative way to spend an afternoon, and we would talk about the people we had remembered without knowing.

I’m hoping that where you’re at, you can enjoy a picnic or a walk in someplace green. I think people tend to overplan picnic food and try to make it a Thanksgiving-type pile of bounty, when on an almost-summer day you don’t need anything fancy. For a family of four, a great picnic doesn’t have to be a big huge thing that takes 10 people to carry and set up. Avoid fiddly, messy foods and stuff you don't really need. I know this is late for Memorial Day, but we've got all summer!

• A loaf of crusty bread makes anything feel more special. Crusty rolls, a baguette, an uncut loaf from the grocery store – each of these is different enough to make a meal feel festive.

• One cheese and one meat is fine for a picnic. You don’t need tons of variety. Havarti and roast beef is a good combo (and havarti alone is divine if someone doesn’t eat meat), or cheddar and ham or turkey. Condiments add fuss, so I don’t bring them.

• One fruit, one vegetable. Apples, bananas, oranges and grapes travel well, don’t take a lot of prep, and the leavings (peels, cores, rinds) can be buried with a clear conscience, or brought home to compost. Sugar snap peas and grape tomatoes are a fun veggie option and are good plain. Carrots, peppers, and broccoli are good too, but need a little prep before you go. Fruit or vegetable juices can do double duty here, too.

• A dessert. I usually buy a large bar of gourmet chocolate for a sweet finish. Chocolate is a little fussy – it’s messy when it melts – but we must soldier on.

• A drink. If you’re not in a place with drinking fountains, bring a thermos of cool water.

• Napkins, wet wipes, and an empty plastic bag for trash.

You’re set! I hope your holiday weekend was a good one.

Friday: Self

2009-05-22T09:00:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I said that working at home changes relationships. The biggest relationship it changes, of course, is the one you have with yourself. Last week, you were a corporate lawyer or a go-get-’em journalist or a teacher. This week? It’s hard not to say “I’m just a mom,” because that’s what we’re taught to say. But we know there’s no such thing.

Moms thinking about working at home imagine all the time they’ll have for themselves to work out, clean out the junk drawer, organize their closets, get the laundry on a decent schedule, write in a journal or pick up a craft abandoned long ago. There is time for that, time for yourself, but you have to be ready to take it when it comes, especially if your paid work starts to take off.

When you worked outside the home, you felt like that if only you could have a little time to yourself, you’d be a better worker, partner and mother. Now that you’re working at home, you need to make sure you fulfill that promise to yourself and don’t let the work creep deprive you of what you need to get stuff done.

Fridays will be devoted to the relationship with yourself – how to make sure you are getting your time in, as well as for everybody else.

Thursdays: Relationships

2009-05-21T09:00:00.001-05:00

Many of us have a primary helper for doing what we’re doing – a partner, spouse, parent, good friend. Their emotions include excitement and pride in what you’re trying to do, and trepidation about money and resentment about perceived freedom and laziness.

Working at home changes those relationships, and don’t we know it. A partner can be supportive one week, have an internal crisis about where the money for bills will come from, and then can be annoyed and discouraging the next. A husband might wonder why the dishes don’t get done during the day. A parent might disapprove of how you keep your house – if you’re going to be working all day and ignoring your children, why not just do it in an office downtown while you’re at it?

Working at home also changes the way you relate to your children, and how they see you. They might not be used to having you around all the time. If you have babies, you might feel tied down with them in a way you didn’t when you were working outside the home.

“What do you do all day” is a crushing question when anyone asks it; when it’s your partner or spouse, it can put you into a tailspin for the week. On Thursdays, this blog will focus on our relationships with other people and how we can strengthen them.

Wednesdays: Work

2009-05-20T09:00:00.000-05:00

Every mother is a working mother; I firmly believe that. There’s always been a reluctance to acknowledge that a woman who stays home with her kids is working, whether she’s earning a paycheck from home or not. Women who stay home are pitted against those who don’t, and we are encouraged by society to judge each other.

I am extremely lucky – the work I love to do and am good at is perfect for working at home. My resume stretches more than 15 years across the battlefield of the publishing industry, scattered with dead newspapers and magazines. As a freelance, work-at-home writer and editor, I can take only the projects I want to and work on them late at night, early in the morning, in bed, at the breakfast table, at a coffee shop.

On this blog, Wednesdays will be devoted to the paid work of work-at-home moms. We’ll talk about the Mommy Wars, the decisions to work outside the home or at home, what jobs are good to do at home and finding them, whether you want to work for pay while at home or not. These are hard questions and we’ll have some good conversations, I think. Wednesdays won’t all be heavy – we’ll often revel in the fact that it’s always fun to wake up, remember that hell boss of yesteryear, and think I don’t have to go in today.

Tuesdays: Kids

2009-05-19T09:00:00.000-05:00

“Work-at-home” may be the first part of “Work-at-home mom,” but the biggest reason you’re at home is probably your kids. Whether you’re at home with a newborn trying to figure out how to type while breastfeeding, or sitting in an a conference call while three teenagers tromp through the kitchen bellowing for snacks, your children are the reason and the biggest challenge about working at home.

I have two kids; Ian is 10 and Mara is 6. They are fairly self-sufficient, but I remember the days of interviewing people over the phone while feeding graham crackers to Mara as a baby to keep her quiet. I will try to focus on all ages and abilities of children, but feel free to call me on anything if I’m out of line or wrong.

On this blog, Tuesdays will focus on the kids – the glory of them, the challenges, the balance that you thought might come with working at home, yet sometimes feels even more elusive than when you worked outside the home. We’ll talk about ways to keep them busy while you’re working, things to do with them, and those moments you dreamed about when you were sitting through your third Power Point presentation of the week.

Monday: Food

2009-05-18T09:25:00.000-05:00

When I decided to become a work-at-home mom, I had a lot of ideas about how I would do things. I would be more patient, because I wouldn’t be at my crabby job all day. I would have more energy, because I would have time to exercise. I would have a daily schedule that would see me working on projects at certain times, and then I would rise gracefully from the computer 10 minutes before the kids came home so I could greet them with a nutritious snack.

I think the biggest surprise was how “work creep” – the tendency of any chore to grow to fill the time allotted to it, or sometimes go even longer – totally derails some of my plans. The biggest plan would be cooking. I make menus, I write on a calendar what we’re having for supper, and there are still times where it’s 3:30 and I realize I forgot to put the roast in.

On this blog, Mondays will be devoted to menus. We’ll talk about meals that hit the big three (nutritious, easy, and kids will eat it), how to eat right for yourself, recipes, seasonal foods, snacks, and so on. Working at home will not make people stop saying “What’s for supper?” and “Can I have a snack?” I’m hoping that writing stuff like this down will make it easier, at least, to deal with some of those questions.

Welcome to Motherguild!

2009-05-15T08:00:00.000-05:00

Hello there! I am a work-at-home mom-of-two who has decided to blog daily about the challenges and joys of working at home. This blog will be full of tips and tricks to balance your paid work, your kids, your partner, and yourself. I hope it will also be a much-needed outlet for venting and support.

Here are a few facts about the Motherguild blog:

• All names that I use will be pseudonyms. Because of some of the freelance work I do, I would like to keep this separate from my paid work. I know this puts a barrier between you and me, but I think at this point we're all familiar with the Internet and why people like to be anonymous. Please be assured that if you do e-mail me, I will read it!

• I will be blogging daily and each day of the week will have a theme. It might range quite a bit from its original theme, but having a set schedule like that helps me stay focused. And we all know how important that is.

• Each post will have several links in it. The main reason is links help boost a blog's visibility, and frankly, I'd like a lot of people to read this blog. So there's the self-serving reason. The links won't always be exactly what the hotlinked word is. For example, the word "teacher" might link to the national teachers union Web site. This would reflect my politics. Links to products, services, organizations and so on do not mean that I have been paid by those entities to include them; it is only to show things that I like. It's an endorsement on my part, not their part.

• A lot of the stuff I write about will be aimed at mothers. However, I want all caregivers to find this blog useful. It's easier for me to write specifically for women, but a lot of things I'll be writing about -- kids, family, self-care -- will be applicable to everyone. You are not meant to be excluded. I also want this to be a friendly place for GLBT people, people with disabilities, people of color, people of every class and and so on. If my privilege is showing, please call me on it.

• Any time I talk about food, nutrition, health, or money, please remember to consult with your own experts and do not take my opinions as the only way to do anything.

• The photo in the flag represents a lot of things about myself and my family. There are crayons, tools, a to-do list, some of the kids' favorite things, a cup of coffee with some chocolate, and so on. The heart stands for all of us, of course (aw).

I'll be starting my daily blogging on Monday, May 18. Be sure to visit every day to see what's going on. Thanks for reading!

Kate

Watch this space...

2009-05-14T14:39:00.000-05:00

...because I'll be launching tomorrow. Woot!